try this one on for size

Never enough! this hideous mantra that started so long ago, again boldly proclaims her ineptness. Hands clenched in quivering fists, she paces her bedroom glaring at the mirror each time her teary, impovrished eyes caught sight of its reflection. how could i be so stupid to fall for this again? This question provides the answer to the mantra, she decides, yet she knows that it is not that simple.



there must be an answer. Her logical mind is searching for a single shread of logic, something that she can grasp hold of and steady her herself - if for only a brief exculpation.



desperate she reaches for the cabinet. it is not a gun she seeks. no, that would require courage, honesty, a clear admission of willpower. her reach is one of blurred spinelessness.



the liquid is warm as is hits her empty stomach, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. she sees again the mirrors' painting. this time it portrays a dishevelved, but smiling girl. the clenched fists have relaxed; the furrowed brow now a dejected wave. demented i must be, she thinks, to enjoy this. she knows that it will be much worse latter and there will be no smiling then, from anyone.

today i was reflective

it is so easy to get caught up in the mundane things in life that seem so important. today i took the time to extricate myself from these things for a bit respite. i took a stroll next to the 'lake' at tempe beach park and noticed the unusual green water, the warm breeze, and the fresh smell of the grass, trees, and fish. there was an elderly couple walking across the grass, stooped over and holding hands. they looked as if they would fall to the ground in their foot struck a stone or if the wind blew a bit harder. a couple of kids were playing under the overpass, trying to show off to anyone that might look their way, to prove that they alone are cool, fearless, and mature. then there was the lonesome soul, lounging under a tree, reading a book. this one i envyed. the trees were gorgeous and stood tall, graceful in the wind, and captivating. the clouds were wispy and puffy all at once; here today, gone tomorrow. it was a lovely break from the demanding world of me now. i hope to remove myself from its clutches again soon.

Very Important!

Our sister, Lupe Lean, is having a bit of financial difficulty and risks losing her house. She is a fighter, though, and is determined to stay afloat as long as possible. Her tactic? Enticing homemade tamales. For $10 you can buy a dozen, and there is no limit on how many you purchase. What a great opportunity for us to buy food and save a damsel in distress at the same time! Her email address is guadalupe91@cox.net and her phone number is (602) 870-7700. The following is a message from the original email that I received:



"Please include your phone number so she can call you if she needs to. Lupe has been in the valley for many years and lives on 12th St. and Northern. I believe she goes to a Spanish congregation but I have seen her attend Sunnyslope and Squaw Peak a few times. If you could help her out she would really appreciate it. Plus you get delicious tamales!"



That was written by Jayme. Please, if you are able, buy some tamales to support our sister. Let me know if you have any questions!



~theresa

pebbles

tedious tiny jumping bears

bubbles in a circle with the hair

snowcapped mountains everywhere

nancy wonders why

tall trees floating down the hallway

ice and lemons play jacks on the walk

swirlling breezes wipe off the roof

nancy wonders why

the squirrels nibble their pearls

the ants scream in anticipation

time wraps up its business

and nancy wonders why

the one, the only

I am the one and only. there is nobody i would rather be because I am the one and only and ya can't take that away from me. (remember that great 80s song?)



I have an idea. let's talk about english for a moment. When utilizing this language there are three (that we are going to talk about) ways to address a person. The first is first person, using I, me, or my. An example is "I wrote this song." The second is using he, she, it, and others not mentioned here due to sheer simplicity purposes. An example is, "He is the songwriter of those foul words."



The third and most important and least commonly used (hint, hint) is third person [are you picking up on the pattern?] Third person is substitutiting a proper noun in the place of a first person reference. It is not appropriate, and tends to be quite annoying, to consistantly speak of one's self in third person. For example, if my name was Jeremy, an inappropriate usage of third person would be, "Jeremy likes to write and listen to songs." Instead, it would be quite correct to substitute 'I' in the place of 'Jeremy.' For more wonderful english lessons please stay tuned.



***Beware! This post has been updated and may be different from the first time you read it.***



the editor would like to thank a certain JP for the tip about the third person rule. the editor would also like to thank a different certain JP for the inspiration to teach this exhilerating lesson, and this thanks is only offered if this lesson proves to be demonstrated.

back from nowhere

hi all that read this silly blog! i am alive though i did check out nowhere for a small while. i realized that it is a comforting and safe place, it is not near as fun as anything abstract or rhetoric or try avoidance. so on my trip to nowhere land i discovered and learned many a thing. i will now share my wealth of experience with you fine folk so that you do not waste your time traveling there.



First, and most important, the food was horrible! Dried cactus would have been better than the food served here. as a result i ate very little and started resembling a skeleton. do not worry, though, because tonight i feasted on burritios with hamburg, ketsup, cheese, lettuce, and pickle relish, and a glass of a $6 bottle of wine. as unappealing as this may sound to you, this was absolutely wonderful and high class for a person returning from nowhere;



Lesson two deals with the irrevelancy of generalities. Every person is different than everyone else, even if they have similar qualities or reactions. For example, specimen A has x, y, z, and l qualities, while specimen B has x, y, z, and r qualities. It does not matter that there are many similar qualites, because the one difference is what sticks out and it impacts the other qualities so much that when viewed as a whole the two people are completely different.



the next thing i learned in nowhere is that immature boys will act the opposite that they feel. if they like you, they will show the world that they cannot stand you. what is the deal with that? i never understood that, yet i know it to be true.



so nowhere land was much like never-never-land, except no peter pan, pirates, or lost boys. it is a never ending island of trees, lagoons, mountains, and silence. the silence was so thick that it was oppresive. one, me, would make noise just to hear noise. while that thought is both unwise and unappealing, no one else was around to interfere or offer a different standard. the scenery was so gorgeous and amazing that it overwhelmed me to the point that i had to tell everyone i know about this great place, but no one else was there, and there was no way to contact everyone. the unfulfilled urge to speak about this wonderful place, was intoxicating, frustrating, and maddening. i felt like jeremiah when he swore that he would not talk about jehovah anymore. the words and desire burned in me and i had to let it out. i made many friends with the rocks and trees.



another point i would like to discuss is dishonesty. the majority of people that we meet each day do not view lying as a serious wrong. in fact they sometimes feel like they are doing a person a favor by lying to them, and telling them what they want to hear, but it is crippling! As Jehovah's people, we are so used to speaking and accepting the truth from our brothers and sisters that we forget to be on guard against worldly people. No matter how nice they are, a lot of them have no problem with lying in order to benefit themselves or the situation. i have a bible study who i think is just saying that she wants to study in order to gain a companion to have fun with. i would go over to her side of town to study and she would have completely different ideas, and since i am a bit too easygoing, i went along with it, only to recognize her purposes later, with the help of Jehovah and one of His servents. since i have been doing things by the book, we have not studied. Satan is the father of the lie and so we need to be on guard against all non witnesses.



yeah that is all. enjoy.

what more could i ask for

Hello and welcome to my blog where the words and thoughts roll as smoothly as rocks on a pond....

paradigms shift

spinning, laughing, dancing, to her favorite song,

eyes wide open she is reborn in the freeness of the breeze,

falling to the ground, without a sound,

just a little girl with nothing wrong, and she's all alone.



~that was inspired by Nora Jones who has a song that contains some of those phrases.



in a world of perfection what would people do?

no faults around for them to pursue,

with judgemental criticism and narrow-mindedness.

all day, every day, the same,

no surprise jolts to wake us from this routine,

no mistakes to learn from.

integrity would be ingrained,

love would be understood.

no accidents, no need for insurance,

doctors, nurses, who needs them?

trees, rivers and streams will again rejoice,

mountains will reach up to the clouds,

the night sky will embrace the desert.

a uniform concept of living will be painted,

and all animals and the meek will concede.

but the world, what will the world do?