try this one on for size

Never enough! this hideous mantra that started so long ago, again boldly proclaims her ineptness. Hands clenched in quivering fists, she paces her bedroom glaring at the mirror each time her teary, impovrished eyes caught sight of its reflection. how could i be so stupid to fall for this again? This question provides the answer to the mantra, she decides, yet she knows that it is not that simple.



there must be an answer. Her logical mind is searching for a single shread of logic, something that she can grasp hold of and steady her herself - if for only a brief exculpation.



desperate she reaches for the cabinet. it is not a gun she seeks. no, that would require courage, honesty, a clear admission of willpower. her reach is one of blurred spinelessness.



the liquid is warm as is hits her empty stomach, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. she sees again the mirrors' painting. this time it portrays a dishevelved, but smiling girl. the clenched fists have relaxed; the furrowed brow now a dejected wave. demented i must be, she thinks, to enjoy this. she knows that it will be much worse latter and there will be no smiling then, from anyone.

today i was reflective

it is so easy to get caught up in the mundane things in life that seem so important. today i took the time to extricate myself from these things for a bit respite. i took a stroll next to the 'lake' at tempe beach park and noticed the unusual green water, the warm breeze, and the fresh smell of the grass, trees, and fish. there was an elderly couple walking across the grass, stooped over and holding hands. they looked as if they would fall to the ground in their foot struck a stone or if the wind blew a bit harder. a couple of kids were playing under the overpass, trying to show off to anyone that might look their way, to prove that they alone are cool, fearless, and mature. then there was the lonesome soul, lounging under a tree, reading a book. this one i envyed. the trees were gorgeous and stood tall, graceful in the wind, and captivating. the clouds were wispy and puffy all at once; here today, gone tomorrow. it was a lovely break from the demanding world of me now. i hope to remove myself from its clutches again soon.